Eandjjorg's Weblog

Scary stuff, or How to Deal with a Sick Mama

eandjjorg — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:32:11 +0000

This afternoon at 4:40PM, my parents will get news that will either elated them or break them. Today we find out where the cancer is going. We aren’t strangers to the disease. Mom made breast cancer her bitch two years ago. She did all that was asked of her: got breast lopped off, chemotherapy, aches, nausea and cute hats, everything. She was showered with gifts of pink ribbons, prayer chains, teddy bears, even Rogaine, until she never wanted to see another pink be-ribbonned trinket again, even if her life depends on it. Looks like it may again.
This was not supposed to happen. My mom is an amazing woman, who has had more than her fair share of shit thrown at her. She is a friend to all who know her, a surrogate parent to random teenagers well into their adulthood. She has a husband, grown children, grandkids…but she is not done.
I try to not be selfish and think about how this is impacting me. But I am the baby of the family, it is my job to determine how all things in the family affect me. I am the barometer, damn it! She hasn’t met my kids yet, she hasn’t gotten another dog, she still hasn’t got that tattoo she keeps talking about. She is not done yet.
So here I am…trying to figure out how to get my Mom through another round of this illness. Trying to figure out what to say to my Dad, who I am not sure will handle this well himself. Trying to figure out how to get myself through this. What changes do I make to make sure that my daughter doesn’t write this same blog thirty-some years from now? Do I become a Susan Powter-like figure of fitness and annoyance? Do I quietly write until I am able to make sense of this whole thing? Do I start spitting out kids so that they have a chance to know their wonderful grandmother and not just hear stories of how they have her smile and her grit and her sense of metaphor?
I don’t have the answers just yet, but I am working on them.

Who Loves “Inside the Actor’s Studio”?

eandjjorg — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 22:34:51 +0000

1. What is your favorite word?

Rapture…not in the Christian ethos, but in the vein of Blondie.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Moist. Makes my skin crawl.

3. What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?

Laughing

4. What turns you off?

Clammy hands and people with no discernible sense of humor.

5. What is your favorite curse word?

Douche bag and all it’s varieties.

6. What sound or noise do you love?

Water: waves of the ocean, babbling creeks, rain.

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

When an eraser skips across the page. And velcro.

8. What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?

Independent bookstore owner.

9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Taxidermy

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Yes, I do have a sick sense of humor.

Finally…it’s the same as it ever was.

eandjjorg — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:30:00 +0000

Sooooo…the Jerm and I finally made it legal, two months ago today. It was a beautiful day, a lovely wedding and the culmination of a lot of planning, pestering and patience for both of us. My husbandy-thing rocks my socks.

It’s funny, we have been together for so long, we must’ve exited the honeymoon period about eight and a half years ago…yet I always assumed that there woud be some huge difference in our lives “post-vows”. And really there has been no big change, no monumental shift that has made married life somehow more remarkable than the life that we were leading before. When I socialize now, people are constantly asking how married life is, to which I usually respond, “Good, although not much different from unmarried life!”. The questioners face usually clouds at this and I suddenly feel like I have made a good wife faux-pas…perhaps I should approach this question as rhetorical, but I have never been very good at rhetorical. But really, our life together is not that different. Seriously, after 11+ years of living in sin, if married life is shockingly different than our previous life together, than we have been doing something wrong.

Hello world!

eandjjorg — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:59:44 +0000

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